D E L I R I U M
by cascade21
Summary: That sugar-freak was always on his mind in some form. White reminded him of silver hair, red reminded him of eyes, and… Gintoki was taking way too long to get here. Where the hell was he?


**[Falling snowflakes are like bells in the distance, ringing, quietly, incessantly.]**

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_**Disclaimer**_**: **Just, no.

_**Pairing**_**: **GinHijiGin – whatever floats your boat really.

_**Author's Notes**_**: **I was stuck at school in the early morning for an hour, as a result… here, I did a thing. I'm still not sure how this came about. This is my first time writing (and about these two, no less) so… uhh… enjoy...?

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The cold seeped in through his layers of clothing, soaking him to the bone. Shifting slightly only made it worse and his undershirt was clinging annoyingly to his skin, chilling him all over. No amount of fidgeting would extricate the damned thing from his body. Buttoning up the jacket did next to nothing to the icy touch of the snow and with water soaking into his pants, it didn't really matter anymore. But he still tried, tugging softly at the cuffs of the jacket in hopes of at least covering his fingers if even a bit. Losing those appendages would be a real shame, he supposed.

A slight breeze brushed past and made him shudder anew, white puffs of smoke emanating from his mouth as he grunted in agitation. God, the snow wouldn't stop, he was freezing. Gunmetal blue eyes flicked upward to the dark grey clouds overhead, feebly trying to ignore the flash of red that popped into his head. Red like eyes. His eyes. It's beautiful, that red. With a growl, he shook his head furiously, stopping only when the action caused his vision to blur around the edges with black spots. It was still cold, damn it.

"Fuck…" Hijikata grunted quietly, leaning to the side a little to bring his legs a tiny bit closer from where he left them sticking out. The movement earned him a piercing pain in his right side and he gave up, letting his legs go back to being sprawled across the snow. Well, the good thing was he couldn't really feel his legs anymore anyway. "Hn… Shit."

He was still waiting.

How long does that idiot intend to take…? It was too cold to be laying down in the snow, especially when you were as easy to chill as Hijikata was. This was why he didn't enjoy winter as much as he probably should. At least, in winter, not as many people commit offenses – since they're too busy staying indoors keeping themselves warm. Kind of like he should be doing right now, but that's not happening because Gintoki's taking far longer than he said he would, and the pain in his right side is preventing him from moving all that much.

Hijikata strained, hand pressing feebly at his jacket where it was thoroughly soaked around his midsection. "Hurry up, you moron…" Muttering didn't do anything but make more white smoke and, having nothing else to do, he focused on blowing little smoke rings. Crap, he needed a smoke – now. Why did he have to drop them during the raid? Damn it all, this was one of his worst days so far. His worst days only ever seemed to revolve around some silver-haired, sweet-toothed bastard – Hijikata realised with a scowl – and today was one of them.

Soon enough, blowing white rings held no interest to him and Hijikata took to watching the snowflakes fall. They were… beautiful, he supposed – though he'd never say that out loud to anyone. Ultimately bored and weary, he watched the snow pile around him, some tumbling to create smaller piles along his fraught body, looking fairly odd atop the colour black. Snow reminded him of white and white looked like silver. Silver hair. He was thinking about him again.

"Damn it… Hurry _up_, Gintoki…"

Numbness spread from his legs up, paralysing him from the waist down now. Feeling lightheaded was never a good thing, but he was definitely feeling just that right now. Hissing, Hijikata pulled his hand from his side and gave it a once over, damn, it was soaked. His head felt like it was floating on clouds – god, he sounded high or something. This was a rare sensation; it could have been more painful though… Guess he could be glad it wasn't – in fact, it was almost completely painless; if he didn't shift around all that much like before, that is. His faintness only allowed him to focus on small things, like… colours, or how he felt incredibly cold, and Gintoki.

He snorted at that. That sugar-freak was always on his mind in some form. White reminded him of silver hair, red reminded him of eyes, and… Gintoki was taking _way _too long to get here. Where the hell _was _he? Hijikata could feel the sleep coming and the dull, throbbing pain in his side was back, convincing him that maybe if he slept, he would feel a bit better. Yet, he stayed awake. Because Gintoki was late, and even when he was late, he always came in the end. He doesn't just up and leave, breaking promises like that. He wouldn't admit that he found that kind of endearing to anyone either.

A film of black covered his vision, wavering slightly before the white came back, a bit blurred and distorted around the edges. _A little like foggy shower glass_, Hijikata thought absentmindedly, body feeling heavier by the second. Maybe Gintoki wouldn't mind him taking a quick nap… He would understand once he explained – if only he would _hurry up _already. Hijikata felt his head lolling to the side, the weight too heavy to keep upright anymore. Before he gave in to the bliss of sleep, he muttered under his breath, voice wavering when he thought he saw a figure in the distance, moving fast: "Oi, bastard… I'm getting tired of waiting, you know… Hurry up… Gintoki, you idiot…" His eyes closed to slits and he could just barely keep them open long enough to spot piercing red eyes staring intently at him from his side. A warm hand was pressed against his face, cupping it gently.

"Hey… Sorry, I'm late, got a bit held up back there. Hey, are you listening to me?"

His voice was better than sleep – more heavenly than the bliss of unconsciousness – that Hijikata managed to crack one eye open, a half smirk on his lips. "Took you long enough, I was getting tired. Might've slept here, y'know…" His words were starting to slur – a sign of just how exhausted he was. "Hurry up an' get us home… M'sleepy…"

"Yeah… Yeah, I'll get us both home. Just keep talking, okay? I need you to keep talking, Oogushi-kun. Speak to me."

"M'name's not Oogushi-kun, ya' bastard. S'Hijikata Toushiro, damn it…"

Conversation somewhat along the lines of that was kept up for the next ten minutes following Gintoki's arrival. Every now and then, his body was jostled as the latter hurried them home, pain ripping through his body, sometimes large, other times only minor. There was a moment when Hijikata blacked out, only to come to a few minutes later – at least he _thinks_ it was minutes – with his face buried in Gintoki's hair. His chest was pressed against Gintoki's warm back, yet he still felt ice cold. So cold. Why was he so cold?

"…Oi… Hijikata… Hijikata, are you awake? Answer me, come on. Oi. If you're awake, do something, anything. Swear at me like you always do, just–"

"Shut up, m'awake now. Stop frettin', s'weird." Hijikata mumbled weakly against his neck, nuzzling the curls around the nape of his neck in hopes of stealing a bit more of that lovely warmth. "M'cold…" He felt Gintoki release a shaky breath, then a deep rumble left his throat in the form of an awkward laugh – Hijikata knew that was odd; why would his voice tremble like that?

"That's okay, that's good. Ah, not you being cold, I meant–"

"I know what ya' meant."

"Yeah…"

Gintoki was so quiet. Why was he quiet? Hijikata frowned, fidgeting a little on his back because he didn't understand what made the other act like this. He didn't know how to _fix_ it. Thinking was becoming difficult and Hijikata could feel sleep pulling at his consciousness for a third time. He didn't want to sleep; it felt wrong, as if, if he slept now, he wouldn't wake up again… wouldn't see _Gintoki_ again… The fear of losing him made Hijikata look down at himself. The reason why Gintoki was holding him so frailly, why his voice wavered when he spoke, and his hands shook with repressed anguish…

_Oh, right, I remember now…_

The faint hotness around his midsection was both a blessing and sent warning bells off in his head, as it trickled down his side. It was so cold due to the falling snow that he had forgotten about it. How could he forget? Hijikata slowly turned his head to look behind and at the long trail left after them in the snow.

_Red. It's so beautiful… like petals scattered across the snow._

Warm blood seeped through his jacket and bloomed as per a flower in spring.

The numbness increased. He couldn't feel his arms anymore.

And the warmth of the back pressed against his chest lulled him back to sleep.


End file.
